The one quality that I wouldn't want any of my friends to have is extreme selfishness. Everyone is selfish
sometimes but what absolutely bothers me is when someone is selfish
all the time. And I actually know someone who really
is that self centered!
Dear Selfish,
If the world really revolved around you, you'd be the sun. BUT YOU'RE NOT THE SUN, THEREFORE THE WORLD DOESN'T REVOLVE AROUND YOU. I'm your friend and I'll be there for you whenever I can. But I can't possibly be there every single time you need me, that's why you have more than one friend, so you can actually talk to them when I'm not present! But I have a feeling you treat me exactly like how you treat your other friends. I love you, and we have lots of fun together. Well, we had lots of fun together. Until one morning you got yelled at by your mom, cried at school, and realized you get waaay more attention if your life SUCKS. So you constantly find little things to kill your mood just so you have a reason to act like a bitch the whole day. So I ask you what's wrong, and you spill your guts to me, and the problem you're bitching about is the same problem you were bitching about the day before! And the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that! Just a little tweaked up, more exaggerated than the previous day to make it seem even WORSE than the last time. I mean, I have problems too, I get annoyed easily, my grades are dropping a little but that doesn't give me a reason to bitch all day to my friends, and when they get tired of it, I don't bitch even more about how everyone's leaving me and I have no friends! You HAVE friends, but you're scaring them away! Life's a bitch but it can't possibly be as bad as you make it seem. You're alive, you have a house, you have food to eat, you're getting your education, for god's sakes didn't you tell me you were getting a car next month?!?!!
Just because I'm tired of hearing the same damn thing everyday and refuse to ask "what's wrong," doesn't mean I'm the bad friend. Yeah, by being your friend I sorta made a commitment to be with you through everything but NEWSFLASH you're not even my best friend! I have ONE class with you! When you tell me the same story over text, and I reply with "I already discussed this with you yesterday," I get a "What kinda friend are YOU? You don't even care about anything I say, my life already sucks and you're gonna add all that weight to my shoulders?!" With all due respect...BITCH YOU'RE ADDING WEIGHT TO MY SHOULDERS. When have you ever helped me with my problems?! Do you even fucking know what's going on in my life? I wouldn't even be surprised if you forgot my name! What's wrong with you, I walk into class and the first thing I hear is "Dude, I'm so emo..." Okay?! You're cool?!
I'm afraid this blog is waaay too honest and I'm pretty sure if the person I'm talking about is reading this, she would know who she is.
And if that person really is reading this....I'm sorry honey, but you need to know.
miss • |mis| • verb • [ trans. ]: 1 notice the loss or absence of : he's rich—he won't miss the money | she slipped away when she thought she wouldn't be missed.
"Stick your nose up. Higher, higher! Walk in a straight line with your hand propped up against your hip. Yes, they are watching. So give them a show. You're the star." Give me a break. Go on; Label me preppy because I'm outgoing; Label me nerdy because I'm Asian; Label me punk because I wear eyeliner; But you can't label me ignorant.
To start off, you need to know that I'm a very indecisive person. I like to contemplate before I make decisions, because I'm afraid to be wrong. Through experience, I've learned that no matter how much I think before I make my choice, it still doesn't make the choice I make, right. My mom always says "Regret never comes firsthand." That's right for the most part, but what about the things you can't control? What about the things that just happen? Well maybe regret really does come firsthand, you just don't know it yet.
I need to learn how to be more independent. I feel like there are certain people that need to be in my life in order for me to stand on my own two feet. I should really learn how to just trust myself and make sure that I don't put my all into someone so that when they leave, it won't affect me. I don't mind being dented, but I don't want to be broken. Something I also need to learn is how to adjust to change. I can't just expect everything to be all good and dandy my entire life, shit happens. I should just be thankful that for a short period of time everyday was a perfect day. I didn't wake up grumpy, I woke up with a huge smile on my face, 100% sure that my day was going to be flawless, just like yesterday. What I didn't know that finally, I'll wake up, expecting a day even better than the previous one, and found myself in tears by the end of it. Suddenly, I get a second chance and everything's all good again, until I start to really think. This change is affecting everything and no matter what nothing's ever gonna be back to normal. And I can't have that. I just wish that whatever happens, I'll be fine. I want to be able to handle everything without needing anyone to hold me up because in the end, the only person that will never let me down is myself.
I was finally really happy. Everything was going really well for me. But of course something has to come along and screw it all up. 8 months and 9 days of seeing each other and kickin it every single day, to maybe seeing each other every weekend. I can't do it:[ I know I can't. I'm sick of crying. I'm sick of thinking about it, knowing there's really no bright side. Because there isn't. I'm sick of this fucking lump in my throat and I'm scared to death of next week. I don't want it to come. I wish today would be the longest fucking day ever. But I know our relationship was way too good for something not to go wrong. Because when things seem too good to be true, it probably is. I love you. You're my everything. You're not supposed to be..but you are. I just wanna be with you. How we are every single day for the past 8 months and I don't want anything to change. I don't want distance between us. I need you here. I hate walking around and seeing other couples so happy. They're always taking pictures and putting it all over their myspace with their cute smiles and holding hands and all that. Going over to each other's houses and spending time with each other..we had that. Why do they get to do that for years and more to come, while all we have is a mere 8 months. This is so unfair.
I'm a cheerful person, I hate drama, and I hate hate and I hate when people don't like me. Even the people that don't matter to me, if I get the feeling they don't like me, it still affects me. Because I feel like I'm not doing something right. I'm human and I accept that--I'll make mistakes, and keep making them 'til I get it right. I sin, I sin to God, break the rules, andgo against my word. I'm imperfect, and it makes me feel exactly how God intended it. I try to fix it, and I'll try to make it better, but no promises, because I'm imperfect. We're all imperfect, but some people are just more sorted out than others. I'm imperfect. I'm imperfect. I'm imperfect. How many times do I need to admit it? I know I'm wrong, but I still do it. My self discipline fails me, and I fail someone else. I fail God. But I'll fix it, and I'll try to fix it, because I'm aware of my mistakes, and it can never be permanent unless I let it. It's never to late to change your direction. I'm only human, and we can only handle so much. Someone has my life all planned out, and no matter what, it's always going to work out in the end. Because he's God. And he knows everything, and he'll help fix my problems, and he'll help me get through the rough times and he'll guide me with the things I need to get by and he'll teach me how to be stronger and he'll have me experience how much I need to be independent and and he'll provide me with as much tears I need to lift the weight off my shoulders, and he'll remind me when I'm doing something wrong and he'll show me the difference between what I want and what I need and he'll train me to be more grateful for the people that work so hard to keep me up. Best of all, he built me to be strong. I know he did.