I keep

giving my mom items on restaurant city on facebook.

But it still doesnt amount to the shit she's ever done for me.

my worst fear

is that ill be a burden to you.

i MUST ask

dear god, why me?

storrrrry of my life.

so im booored now, finally home. hahaha im watching wizards of waverly place. idenno i wanna drrrrink. claude is going to the philippines. how saaad :( til july. damnit july. anyways.

i deleted my myspace.

and made a facebook.

I got a new phonecase today.

Its pink. I like it, I think. It was better than the black one, I kept on thinking about how austin said "this hella kills your phone." hahaha, because it did.

i wanna kick it. bleh. and i really really want a fucking eyebrow piercing but myy moms making me wait til im 18. i want a job, like really badly. i need one >:( hahahahaa. summer sucks.

im hella sleepy, wearing contacts is such a pain in the ass. youu have to fucking take it off and everything ughh. i wanna dye my hair black again, like jet ass black cause the bottom's starting to turn brown and for some reason these front strands of my bangs keep turning hella light brown no matter how many times i dye it. hahaha.

oh i bet you think my blogs are boring, cause i think other peoples blogs are boring sometimes. like when they talk about their lives. i love rant blogs, theyre so interesting, and when people put like pictures on it. it attracts me more rather than this kinda blog im doing right now, which is boring, but i love talking about shit then reading back to it. like an online diary. i actually do have an online diary which i update like, once a year. but when i update it i put hella detail and theres hella shit on there from 6th grade dude its hella interesting. i love reading it. i love reading old diaries i used to be like obsessed with reading my old myspace comments. but then i deleted my myspace. then i made a new one. add me! www.myspace.com/claudineeeee. hahaha, u suck.

I'm on an inspirational photography frenzy.

Strangers.

So I went to starbucks today, and while in line I turned around to see this girl. She looked at me, I smiled, and turned back around.

Suddenly I find myself wondering if this girl realized that our lives have crossed paths. We're complete strangers and I could've lived my life perfectly without standing in front of her in line...I think.

So maybe she's at starbucks because she slept late last night, and needed a coffee to wake her up. Well, what if she slept early last night? Then she would've never seen me. What if there was more to it than that, what if her computer hadn't lost battery and deleted her report that she stayed up all night doing? Then she would've had a perfect night's sleep and never seen me at starbucks. What if she hadn't been distracted by a tv show and remembered to charge her laptop?

There could've been so many ways she could have avoided seeing me at starbucks, yet she did. I wonder what she saw when she looked at me. Is it the same thing I see in the mirror?

When I was younger, I wished that I had an endless stack of post its that say "claudine was here" and I would just stick them wherever I went. Then I could come back and say that 5 years ago I was standing right here.

LOOK BACK,

how else are you supposed to know how far you've come.

Simplicity.

I changed my blog name thing. I realized my uncle goes on blogspot a LOT and i dont want him to like, discover my blogspot one day hahaha. If you're asking what sescui is...well that was the code thing we have to type in to confirm I'm not a virus..what do you call that aagain? Uhh, OH captcha. Hahaha. Yeah that was the captcha thing. Sescui. So it means absolutely nothing :) Anyways, I need a job. And I'm also bout to do drivers ed. Imma go running tomorrow I think, I'm done being chubby!

Well I finally installed norton on this laptop so I'm no longer scared to download stuff. But I am undecided about downloading limewire and itunes on here, I feel like its just gonna eat up all the memory on this and make the bitch hella slow. So I'll just whatever.

I realize that I have no guy friends anymore, haha. Except for brian. And i can't forget Linh, he STAAAY there for me dude. But the guys who I thought were like, my NIGGAS, you know, really aren't. Haha, I'm good though. I drop friends like nothing. Which is bad, but I'm sorry. I move on quickly.

Well things at home are pretty good. Finally.

Neutral.

So its finally all out in the open, I'm with Brian Saechao and my parents know it. Bahahah its funny how they think I'm gonna break up with him just cause they found out. Well I can't really break up with him cause of the whole complicated situation I'm in but you don't need to know. Cause nobody knows, not even me.

Well summer has began and it's alright, me and my mom are still not talking but she talked to me lightweight at costco. hahahaha. hey my feel smell weird in these socks.

Well I lovemy fucking laptop. its so convenient and lately I find myself on fmylife.com hella much, maybe cause I'm trynna see who has a shittier life than me.

Well my parents are very conservative, tahts the only thing wrong with my life. and lately I just realized how much i fucking love my dad, hes so understanding and forgiving. well compared to my mom, yeah. theres fucking hella kids thats parents are cool with them dating and shit wtf, whats so wrong about it. My parents were hella like oh youre ruining your life WTF nigga. I still get good ass grades. I got my classes for next year all of them are honors and ap except for tagalog and biotech. im looking to switch out of biotech though...cause yeah i cant work on my own im so bad.

Alyssa got me addicted to fucking diner dash, its on my sisters itouch but shes being hella stingy with it.

Life sucks sober, I hella want to drink, I want tequila so it hits so fucking fast not like that hpnotq shit where theres NO burn and takes hella dayss to hit you and it goes away hella fast. but maybe cause i was on my medication at that time. hm, who knows i jsut wnana drink. popping and burning are so gay now, although i would never turn down a blunt hahaha i just wouldnt hella look for it anymore. well it depends, maybe when linhs back in my life i will love trees. stogess...suck. i quit that. ill do it if its there and lit and everything, otherwise i cant get myself to crave it like i used to which is GOOOOD cause its really nothing....its not worth it. weed is =) and my daddy patron.

how nice.