Elysium.

Today was a wonderful day, patched things up with my baby, and going over to his house tomorrow. We're going to play Paper Mario. Hopefully that's the end of the drama there 'cause I can't handle it :[ I just heard the door sound and there's no one there and I'm home alone. I just scared myself. Hahaha. My math homework is terrible. The one for tonight wasn't so bad but the night before, I haven't finished and it sucks and I don't understand it. Tomorrow we're not allowed to eat meat, but I'm gonna! =)

Well I find myself being left behind a lot, and I feel that I depend too much on only one person. But I opened my mind and decided I don't need superclose friends that I have to talk to everyday, but there's those people that are consistently there for me and likewise.


this video seems to cheer me up a lot, and i have been singing this song all day because it has been stuck in my head (and everyone else around me after that).

Also, us watching that moreau girl finger herself was hilarious. That bitch could use a brazilian.

Disregard.

I realize, that I do not give a rat's ass if you forget :) and alsoooo, i'm sleepy. Have you ever just sat down and realized how tired you are of your life? Jeeezus, it's the same damn routine every fuckin' day, I just need a miracle to come spice up my life.

And I decide, that I'm a bitch and I was never meant to care for anybody's feelings. And this, forcing myself to care thing, is fading fassssst. No tears, no regrets :]

give me paradise.

Abandoned.

..dont.

My most recent addiction.

Exasperation.

So I feel like I lack self discipline. And I lack balance at school, like I would do really really good in one class then realize I'm failing others. Then i focus on the ones I'm failing and realize I'm failing the other one that I'm good at. BioChem is supposed to be easy but since I LACK SELF DISCIPLINE I could never get myself to work. I'm on Unit 3 Module B for like 100 years and I can't get off it cause I keep slacking off and doing work from other classes. I try so fucking hard in math but i still stay with a B no matter what, and I was too sick to come to class for 3 days and now I don't even know wtf is happening in that class. I didn't do any of the problems in the homework, well I did but its probably wrong so I fucking gave up and i just know i'm gonna bomb the tests and quizzes. Although, I had a C in World Studies and now I have a beautiful A :) But shit. I feel like I'd do better in fucking Algebra 2 or something. Cause other people are fucking like seniors in geometry getting 4.0's and I've been working my ass off since i was fucking BORN and i think i deserve that 4.0. I used to be able to slack off and still get a perfect gpa. and like mr. hannigans class is so easygoing that i cant help but just blow everything off and i have a fucking b-. ive always been good at english. i dont even know. im trying hard. my sister is like going out with her boyfriend every day coming home at 10 and going to sleep and she seems so chill with her life and im hella stressed why am i even hella stressed. why doesnt fucking chapter 6 just blow over so i could get on with the easy shit, gohhhd. claudine is frustrated! And just now I thought about how everytime im screwing up, i tell my mom and when she said just do my best, whatever the result is. and when she says shes still proud of me it makes me feel hella better as if shes the one ive been trying to impress all this time.